On a Personal Note: marriage perspective

Several great thoughts based on the book The Meaning of Marriage by Tim and Kathy Keller

Marriage in Gospel-Focus - Tim and Kathy Keller from The Gospel Coalition on Vimeo.

On a Personal Note: favorite message from Gospel Coalition conference

In the Temple: The Glorious and Forgiving God (1 Kings 8) - Paige Benton Brown from The Gospel Coalition on Vimeo.

I absolutely loved this message at the Gospel Coalition Women's Conference.  It is dense and deep but so applicable and encouraging.  Make sure you don't give up on it the first 20 minutes :)  You are about to get a look at God's presence throughout Scripture and what that means for you today.

On a Personal Note: home again, home again

I've been a stay-at-home mom for 16 months now.  I left my "dream job" as a Resident Director at Biola University in Los Angeles to move to Raleigh for my husband's job at our church here. I'm recently realizing some beautiful benefits of being home...a lot.  And on many days more than I would like.  That's why Graham and I frequent the Target snack counter too often, make up reasons to go for a drive and sometimes just show up at Dad's office unannounced to say "hi."  That may sound glorious to some of you but it's kind of hard for me, specifically after nap time and before Daddy gets home.

But here are 3 gifts of being home that I am deeply savoring right now:


*The gift of starting days with perspective

Never been a morning person.  Never will be.  Being home allows me to slowly waddle to my coffee pot (I waddle when I'm tired), put my son in front of a video (which I don't feel guilty about anymore) and open God's word and ask him what he wants to show me that morning.  Sometimes it's profound- feeling like Scripture was written to pierce my heart specifically.  But more often it's a subtle perspective shift: Jesus is Lord and I am not.  Today, loving God looks like doing dishes, talking with friends, putting my son in time out 10 + times and listening to my husband's heart.

*The gift of being available

I used to be very busy.  I'm a high capacity person and I realize that can be a great thing.  But I seldom had time or space for those opportunities to help someone last minute or check in with someone who's hurting or make a meal for a friend.  It's honestly been so fun to get to do that more often.  God delights us as we give ourselves away to others.  I need that reminder so often.

*The gift of training my son

My friend reminded me yesterday of how repetition is at the core of parenthood, especially with a 2 year old.  I literally need to record myself saying "no more elmo" "no more cookies" and Graham could probably stay home alone.  But seriously, I have been so frustrated at how repetitive it is to train a little human.  What I'm realizing is how it is training me to have to repent for my impatience, be slower to speak and control my anger.  It's not fun but I know it's a gift.

For those of you that are "homers" like me, I'd love to hear what you are savoring right now.  And for those of you who don't choose to be home or don't get to be, I'm sure you can think of some gifts of not being home every day.  I'm sure these thoughts might have reminded you of those too ;).  God is gracious to give us gifts in each season.  Don't forget to look for them.

 

Amy Landis Photography

On a Personal Note: money matters

Sometimes I wish money didn't exist.  It feels like the world is run by it and honestly it takes so much time.  We have to work to earn it, keep track of it, pay bills, purchase things, return things, report money fraud, lose our wallets, find our wallets, cancel credit cards, sign up for credit cards, check investments, decide if we need life insurance, plan a budget, try to keep to our budget...I'm tired just writing this.

And I'm a little biased right now since purchasing a home was definitely the largest purchase of my life thus far and it cost a little bit of money or should I say "continues to cost."

I don't think it's a coincidence that Jesus talked about money a lot.  I don't think it's because he cared about it more than anything but I do think he wants to redeem it as he does with everything that gets distorted by us.

These are the things he keeps reminding me of again and again:

~ Lauren, I am your ultimate provider.  Not Dave or you or your employers or even your generous parents.  I am.  So trust me.  I will not forget to take care of you.  Worry doesn't add anything, it only subtracts. (Matthew 6)

~ Lauren, everything you have belongs to me.  Take joy in getting to use it!  I love when you delight in the gifts I've given you.  And when you use them to delight others. (James 1)

~ Lauren, money is part of my plan to make my name known to the ends of the earth.  Be strategic with what I give you. (Matthew 28)

~ Lauren, seek first my kingdom and everything else will be added to you.  If you try to save your life you will lose it.  (Matthew 6)

In Genesis 4 is the story of the first murder committed by man.  Cain kills his brother Abel.  I've always thought his jealousy led him to kill but I noticed the other day that Cain's jealousy began because he withheld from God what belonged to God.  Abel gave God his best but Cain kept his best for himself.

Now, it's not too inspiring to follow Abel's example since he ends up dead, but my point is that if stingy-ness or greed can lead a heart to become so hard that one murders his brother, I want to stay far away from that.  I know you do too.

Lord, help us hold things loosely.  We can never out-give you.

On a personal note: grieving with hope

Life is so full of grief.  I keep hearing these past few days about people, some of them friends, who are facing such massive grief that they don't even know how they'll walk through what tomorrow holds.
I know they are clinging to some of these promises right now...
~ If we are in Christ, we don't grieve without hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13)
~ We have a sympathetic God who we can approach with confidence for help and mercy (Hebrews 4:14-16)
~ God will wipe every tear from our eyes and all will be made right (Revelation 7:17)

Saw this video through a friend's facebook today.  I can't imagine the grief.  And I can't imagine what these people will experience when they are reunited with their son.  Forever.

"After The Storm"

And after the storm,
I run and run as the rains come
And I look up, I look up,
on my knees and out of luck,
I look up.

Night has always pushed up day
You must know life to see decay
But I won't rot, I won't rot
Not this mind and not this heart,
I won't rot.

And I took you by the hand
And we stood tall,
And remembered our own land,
What we lived for.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

And now I cling to what I knew
I saw exactly what was true
But oh no more.
That's why I hold,
That's why I hold with all I have.
That's why I hold.

I will die alone and be left there.
Well I guess I'll just go home,
Oh God knows where.
Because death is just so full and man so small.
Well I'm scared of what's behind and what's before.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair. 

On a Personal Note: no one told me

Been having some Mother's Day reflections this week which started off by thinking about all the things people didn't tell me before I became a mom:

1) That I would be sobbing on my bed while in labor (it was time to head to the hospital) saying, "Dave, it won't just be me and you when we come home."  He said something to the effect of "you are going to have this baby right here if you don't get your tail in the car."
2) That I would think numerous times in those first months that I didn't want to love another human this much- felt too risky.
3) That being forced out of many of my self-centered patterns would be painful and also the catalyst for a lot of growth.
4) That it takes 8 months, not 8 weeks to fit back into your clothes (at least if you don't make a decent effort :).
5) That I would find a new respect and need for my own parents.
6) That "mommy" may not be his first word.  Sometimes it comes long after "duck" and "quack" and "no" and of course, "daddy".
7)  That I would go in and watch him sleep every single night.
8) That I would ask the question at least once a day the entire first year, "What am I supposed to do in this situation?"
9) That I need to be reminded daily that he belongs ultimately to the Lord and not to me.
10) That I now understand more what it means that God rejoices over and delights in his children.

I guess some things are better learned first-hand.